Dealing with money issues and need advice!

Ok so ever since I've moved to Kansas and even before then I've had money issues... As in I don't know how to budget and I tend to just blow things off if I can't afford them, as in bills. I know that's a real childish way to deal with it but that's how I deal with it. My parents are there to back me up if I need them to but I want to be able to rely on myself and be able to get rid of this debt I have. Now some of it was built up when I was living with James and he had no job so I was paying all the bills because what little money he got from unemployment usually went to child support or to help with paying things for his son. So most of this is old debt. But I'm getting so depressed and just don't know if I can't keep moving forward when I have all these setbacks. Maybe I should just live in my car for a while until I can get this debt taken care of and save some money. I don't know. I feel very lost right now and don't know where to turn.... I mean even when I go out I don't spend that much money. I guess I'm just gonna have to buckle down and not go anywhere for a while. I don't know what to do and I feel like every time I crawl out of a hole I'm pushed back in to a deeper one. Any advice on how to budget when you have a debt that's more than your means to begin with? Any ideas on how to deal with creditors or collection agencies? I mean I have to call one collection agency tomorrow to figure out what I can do to pay when I have no money. I mean what do you tell them? Ummm hey I don't have any spare money right now and then I'm sure they'll say uh well we're taking you to jail or something... I don't know what to do :( HELP! Please I need your help!

Time for an emotional overhaul!

Ok so this weekend I have learned alot of things... One of them is that I need to start getting my emotions in check... I have done better with that when I'm injured or sick I don't cry as much as I used to but God forbid I get mad and the waterworks come out. I blame my mother for this as she is highly emotional herself. I have got to learn to keep my emotions in check though because I seem to be freaking everyone out. My mom always told me that I was highly emotional and that if I cry people are going to panic or something. It's just the way I deal with things but it gets mistaken for being a highly emotional wreck. Oh well I guess if someone needs to be the trainwreck of the group it can be me right? LOL

Another thing I'm trying to get better at is getting my jealousy under control.... I've always been jealous about EVERYTHING.... My parents tell me I just need to get over it or they are super over protective about it. I don't mean to be jealous it just seems to rear it's ugly head when things are going good in my life I always think that maybe my friends want to be with me because I'm just dependable??? or because they need a wing man?? or what... I know that's not the case but my friends are super beautiful inside and out and sometimes I feel like I don't deserve them... That I downgrade their beautifulness... I am finally realizing I'm beautiful and that maybe I care about others too much more than myself. Maybe I'm trying to spread the happiness too much to others and not to myself. Plus I've never had friends that I've been super close with for a long period of time so maybe that's part of it too... Maybe I'm afraid to commit to friendships that are long lasting because I don't want to be the one that is hurt in the end. I don't know whatever it is I need to work on it because I don't want to lose my friends because I'm too emotional. So here's to better days ahead and being able to control my emotions better :)

Peace and love my friends!