Ok that phrase of "nice guys finish last" in the dating field isn't because us women like the "bad boys" per se... It's that these nice guys aren't just nice to us but will do anything for their friends at ANY time... My ex-fiance was a "nice guy" but always helped out his kid's mom at the drop of a hat and we always had to rearrange our schedule to fit hers.
Well I feel like it's happening again. I went on a date last night with a guy who I've been dancing with alot at the bar lately. Well our date was at the bar. I know not the most typical setting for a date but whatever. Well anyway, it's the most crowded day of the week and of course he sees alot of his friends there. Unfortunately for me none of my girlfriends could come out because of other obligations. And he was there trying to make everyone happy. Well hate to be the selfish one but I thought he was going out on a date with me ya know? He was getting beers for his buddies and helping his cousin with his relationship issues. WHATEVER! I don't know I just know that if i did get in a relationship with him things would have to change and I would always look like the bad guy. I just want a guy who wants to be with me and yes I want him to have friend time too but when we make a date i want him to be here in the moment with me!
Maybe something is wrong with me. Maybe i'm not "marriage material" and such a control freak that I have to have everything my way. I don't see it as that but maybe others do. But this is why I think nice guys finish last because they want to please everyone and make sure everyone is happy. That can lead to resentment on my end and that seems to ruin my relationships. I just would like to be put as #1 in someone's life. Guess that's too much to ask :(...
It's not too much to ask, Marcie. My husband is a "nice guy" and that is what attracted me to him. He also knows when to put me first which is a good thing...he is also 8 years older than me and I swear that makes a difference. I have always dated older men and I think that's why most of my relationships have worked...they kind of have the maturity level you want and they have things figured out.
ReplyDeleteI am a control freak too but my husband helps balance that part of me out.
You WILL find someone but finding the right one does take time and you will have to let the control part of you take a back seat and let patience take the front seat :)